her vagine was all disorganized.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
