people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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