If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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