im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize