It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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