Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
