maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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