So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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