There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
