TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
