I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
