I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
