Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
