Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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