Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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