what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
