I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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