NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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