it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
