singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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