she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think people are normalizing furries
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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