i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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