I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
