are you still at the devil's house?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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