If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
