Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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