Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
only you would photoshop your dick
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
