the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
