the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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