almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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