and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
