so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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