i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
