hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Randomize
