he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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