Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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