I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
