mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
