Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
