i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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