Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
do herpes really smell.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
