On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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