even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
