you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
