when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
