I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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