i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
