i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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