i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
