Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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