I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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