Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
