Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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