Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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