so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
