Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
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