Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
