Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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