I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it was like eating out sand paper
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
