omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
