There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Randomize
