Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
