All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
